


Nightmares

by BlaiddGwyn (dragonLeighs)



Series: Agender Jaskier Fics [2]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Jaskier, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, They/Them Pronouns for Jaskier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25167781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonLeighs/pseuds/BlaiddGwyn
Summary: Jaskier suffers from terrible nightmares. Geralt wants to help but isn't sure how.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Agender Jaskier Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820881
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Nightmares

Geralt found himself unexpectedly awake in the middle of the night. Despite his heightened senses, once he was properly asleep he was difficult to wake. So what had woken him this time?

They were staying in an inn, sharing a room with separate beds, so it wasn't like there were any animals passing too close to their camp. He decided it was nothing and was about to fall asleep again when he heard a faint noise. It seemed to come from Jaskier who was buried under the thin blankets. Then he smelt the faint scent of anxiety coming from the bard.

Then came another noise, slightly louder this time. An unmistakable sound of distress. A nightmare most likely. Geralt didn't know if waking them would help or make it worse so he decided to let it pass.

This worked for all of two minutes as the bard gradually became more distressed. They began mumbling, seemingly begging someone to stop doing something. Geralt got up and gently placed his hand on where he believed Jaskier's shoulder to be, although it was hard to tell as they were completely hidden beneath the blankets.

"Jaskier, wake up," he said, keeping his voice as gentle as he could. When the bard didn't wake, he tried shaking them a little and speaking slightly louder. Jaskier eventually woke with a jolt at which point Geralt removed his hand.

Instead of emerging from the blanket, Jaskier curled up into a tight ball, continuing to shake slightly. It wasn't until he heard a wet sniff that he realised they were crying. Geralt didn't know what to do, he'd only known the bard for a month, and he was hardly the best at bringing comfort to people.

He decided the best thing to do would probably be to go back to bed and pretend none of this ever happened. The next morning neither of them mentioned the events of the previous night.

This worked fine for a few days until it happened again. They were camping this time so when Geralt woke, he immediately grabbed his sword and got to his feet in case of a monster. When no danger presented itself, he turned his attention to the sleeping bard. Once again they were giving off waves of anxiety but seemed to remain silent this time.  
Geralt sat back down on his bed roll and watched Jaskier, ready to wake them if they needed it. Thankfully, the bard seemed to eventually settle once more, their face relaxing and the slight tension leaving their muscles. Only then did Geralt go back to sleep.

This became a somewhat frequent occurrence with Geralt waking in the night to Jaskier's anxiety. Most nights he would simply wait for whatever nightmare was plaguing the bard to pass but sometimes they became distressed to the point of Geralt deciding to wake them up or, rarely, they would wake themself with a violent jerk of their body and a strangled shout before Geralt could do anything.

Whichever way Jaskier woke, Geralt always made sure it seemed as though he was unbothered by the bard's tears. It left them both tired the next day and yet neither was willing to mention it.

Almost half a year passed them in this fashion when it finally seemed to become too much for Jaskier. Geralt had once again been brought to wakefulness by Jaskier's anxiety. Except this time, it quickly spiked into fear, accompanied by Jaskier begging the subject of his nightmare to leave them be. These were always the worst ones, where Geralt could hear them trying to fight whatever demon they faced while remaining helpless to do anything about it.

Geralt tried his usual routine of waking them with a gentle shake and softly calling their name. It didn't seem to work so Geralt tried again. Jaskier only seemed to grow more distressed, trying to get free of Geralt's grasp. The witcher grabbed their shoulders with both hands, shaking them firmly and calling their name at a normal volume. Jaskier remained trapped in their nightmare.

There wasn't much more Geralt could do to wake them so he did the only thing he could think of. He lay down besides Jaskier and pulled them to his chest to try and at least prevent them from hurting themself in their thrashing.

They remained like that, with Geralt keeping a firm but gentle hold on the bard while they fought against him, for a few minutes until Jaskier finally woke with a strangled cry. They took in a gasp of air before breaking down in tears, burying themself closer to Geralt and clutching at his shirt. The witcher simply held them, rubbing small circles into their back in an attempt to comfort them. Slowly Jaskier managed to calm down. This had clearly been the worst nightmare yet and had shaken the bard badly. 

"I'm sorry," Jaskier mumbled, their voice rough from crying and muffled by Geralt’s shirt where they were still curled against him. 

"What for?" Geralt asked.

"For waking you. I know this isn't the first time. I thought they would go away but they only seem to get worse."

“Do you want to talk about it? I’ve heard that helps.”

Jaskier shook their head. “Not tonight.”

They both remained silent, neither one making a move away from the other. Eventually Geralt heard Jaskier’s breathing even out and he realised they had fallen asleep. Not wanting to wake them, Geralt resigned himself to spending the night holding the bard, not that he minded in the slightest.

Geralt woke first the next morning as the sun was beginning to shine above the trees. The first thing he noticed was Jaskier still plastered to his side. Thankfully, they hadn’t had any more nightmares that night, allowing them both to get some much-needed rest.

Usually upon waking Geralt would go about preparing to leave, packing his things and making something for breakfast. This morning however he was content to simply let the bard sleep. The gods knew how badly they needed the rest.

He didn’t have to wait long for them to wake. There was a moment where they simply lay there before they registered what they were lying against. With a jolt they pulled away from Geralt, looking vaguely embarrassed. “Morning,” Geralt said, trying not to show the small bit of hurt he felt at having Jaskier pull away like that.

“Uh, morning,” they replied, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. They got up and went about their usual routine. Geralt couldn’t help but notice Jaskier was acting slightly off the entire time, no doubt it was to do with their nightmare last night. Geralt didn’t want to push them into talking about it, knowing they would likely deflect and change the subject.  
Throughout the rest of the day Jaskier was uncharacteristically quiet. Their rambles and rants about whatever thoughts came into their head were missing and they barely played their lute, occasionally filling the silence with a song or two before returning to silence. Geralt was worried. He didn’t need to ask what was wrong, but he didn’t know how to get the bard to open up to him.

Jaskier didn’t sleep that night. Geralt knew because he stayed awake waiting for them to do so but when the sky began to lighten with the first sign of dawn, he resigned himself to getting a few hours of rest. Jaskier was up before him, confirming his suspicion.

Jaskier was even more lethargic the following day. Geralt even offered for them to ride Roach for a while when it became clear Jaskier would keep falling behind. They accepted his offer but still refused to tell him about their nightmares. Geralt decided he needed to do something. He would wait until they had set up camp for the night before confronting Jaskier about whatever it was that was plaguing them.

It wasn’t long after they had eaten that night that Jaskier announced they were going to bed. Geralt was relieved, hopeful he wouldn’t have to talk to Jaskier about whatever was wrong. Not because he didn’t care but because emotions were most definitely his area of expertise. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out as Jaskier simply lay in their bedroll awake.  
After twenty minutes of waiting to see if they would fall asleep, Geralt decided to go through with his plan. “Jaskier,” he said gently. The bard obviously heard him if their slight flinch was anything to go by.

Despite the lack of an answer Geralt pushed on. “I really think talking about whatever is wrong would help you sleep.”

“I don’t want to,” Jaskier mumbled, sounding very much like a petulant child.

“You can’t keep going on like this.”

Jaskier sighed before sitting up and facing the witcher. They looked truly exhausted. “I don’t know how to talk about it.”

“What happens? In your nightmares I mean.” Jaskier remained quiet. Geralt didn’t know if they were refusing to speak or were trying to find the words. “Whatever it is, I won’t think any less of you,” the witcher said after a while, hoping to encourage the bard.

Jaskier seemed to finally crumble at that, likely a combination of exhaustion and the stress they’d been putting themself through. Tears ran freely down their face as they let out a broken sob. Geralt was suddenly overcome with the urge to comfort them so he did just that, moving to sit by the bard on their bedroll and pulling them to his chest with an arm around their shoulders. He let Jaskier cry without pushing for more answers just yet.

When Jaskier eventually pulled away to scrub at their eyes with the sleeve of their shirt and finally spoke. “I… I’ve known since I was a child that I wasn’t a boy,” they began. Geralt wasn’t sure where this was going but he stayed quiet, encouraging the bard to keep going.

“Since I didn’t know being nothing was even an option, I reasoned I must be a girl at the time. I told my mother this when I was about seven and she seemed to be alright with it. She allowed me to grow my hair out and called me Julia like I asked. She even let me wear some of her jewellery and makeup sometimes, but we had to make sure my father didn’t find out. He was a cruel man, always punishing me for not being the perfect son. My mother and I both knew if he found out I wanted to be a girl the consequences would be… dire.

“Things were fine for a few months after I told my mother, but one day she slipped up and called me Julia in front of my father. He was furious. I… I tried to run out of the room, but he caught me, held on to my arm while he yelled at my mother before dragging me to his office. He… he beat me until I could barely move.” Jaskier broke down in tears again at the painful memory.

Suddenly Geralt understood why they didn’t want to talk about it. He pulled them back to him for a hug, wanting to let them know it was okay, that Geralt would protect them from now on. He couldn’t imagine having to relive that memory almost every night for years. The worst thing he had ever experienced was the trial of the grasses but thankfully he had been unconscious for most of it and time had worked to dull the edges.

They stayed like that for a while until Jaskier ran out of tears. “Thank you for telling me Jaskier. I know that must have been difficult for you. And I’m sorry it ever happened to you. I swear if I ever see that son of a bitch, he’s as good as dead, if that’s what you want.”

Jaskier let out a wet laugh. “I appreciate the sentiment. However, I don’t plan to ever go anywhere near Lettenhove ever again so we shouldn’t need to worry about that.”

Geralt gently guided them both to lie back on the bedroll, keeping Jaskier encircled in his arm. He held them as they finally fell asleep. It didn’t take long for Geralt to fall asleep after hearing Jaskier’s breathing even out, lulling him to rest as well.

Jaskier’s nightmares were much less frequent after that. Geralt found the best way to deal with them was to simply lay down next to them and pull them close to his chest. Within moments, Jaskier would calm down and they could both sleep peacefully. Eventually Geralt stopped waiting for the nightmares to happen first and they would fall asleep next to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [tumblr!](https://blaidd-gwyn.tumblr.com/)


End file.
